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Most breakups are totally preventable - but the you cannot do what feels "natural" (calling all the time, apologizing endlessly, etc.). |
Save My Marriage
Save a Marriage
If you are trying to save a marriage you have crossed the first hurdle. You have acknowledged that there is a problem. Many think a marriage falls apart because of one partner's flaws. While it is possible, relationships are based on two people's interactions. You may not realize which of your actions trigger reactions from your partner. Sometimes a simple thing such as failing to greet your partner when you walk in the door can set off a series of events that neither of you intended.
Affairs, addictions, emotional problems, economic downturns. All of these put stress on our relationships. You can save a marriage by learning how to commit to making it work. Addictions have to be overcome. No relationship can be healthy if one partner cannot control their actions. The marriage is not safe for the other partner. A relationship has to be a team effort. If one partner can't hold up their part of a relationship, eventually the other one will die emotionally. Perhaps you have noticed that it is fairly common for a caretaker to die before the person they were caring for. Not only were they physically exhausted, they were not getting the emotional support they needed. That doesn't mean you can't improve your marriage on your own. You can.
Your actions bring forth reactions from your partner. Some are so instinctive, they have little choice. Observe your own actions. Which cause responses you like? Repeat those. One person can save a marriage if there are no factors beyond their control such as health issues. Learn what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship. No relationship persists without learning how to overcome hurdles. Strengthen your people skills. If you can convince your partner to work on this with you, you will learn to leap hurdles together and strengthen the bond in the process.